People say you have to let go and move on in your life, but they don’t tell you what you need to do to accomplish that. The Grief Recovery Method® Support Groups and One-On-One Programs not only make that possible, but provide partnerships and guidance to ensure that it happens. In our culture, we often forget to make room and time for a full grieving process. We can relearn the ways of listening to and supporting each other during times of loss. There are over 40 kinds of loss: death, divorce, life transitions like graduations and moving, becoming empty-nesters, loss of faith, loss of trust in someone, loss of health or physical ability, and more.
Have you ever heard these phrases and felt they were not actually helpful in your recovering from loss:
- "You'll feel better over time."
- "It just takes time to heal."
- "It's OK, you can get another dog."
- "You're still young - you have time to [fill in the blank]."
- "Your mother's upset - leave her alone."
- "If you're going to cry, go to your room."
- "We have to be strong for her/him."
- "Don't cry."
- "You should be happy she didn't suffer."
- "It's OK, he's in heaven now."
These kinds of messages, which might be factually true in some cases, are often not helpful while you are grieving. They're basically communicating the unspoken message "Don't feel your actual feelings." Why? Because it makes the listener uncomfortable? Because it's awkward? Because there's no easy fix or answer? Yes, all of this is the uncomfortable reality of life and loss. Let's take a deep breath, lower the defenses against scary feelings, and have faith that really listening and validating the griever's actual feelings is enough. It's really enough!
There are all sorts of learned Myths about Grief:
• Time heals all wounds
• Replace the loss
• Grieve alone
• Be strong for others
• Bury your feelings
Your feelings are normal and natural. The problem is that we have been socialized to believe that these feelings are abnormal and unnatural. But the truth is that most people have a mix of feelings about any particular loss, and to be able to express those feelings, and feel heard and understood is part of recovering from loss. My groups and 1-1 work offers you a place to be able to do just that. We will also uncover any unresolved communications of an emotional nature, and have a chance to be heard. Then we move into making our apologies, offering forgiveness and saying goodbye to any memories that are causing us pain. Once you learn the method, you can apply the process to any loss in your life and find resolution in order to recover a sense of joy and happiness in life.
How the Grief Recovery Method works
This is an 8-week, action-based educational recovery program. We use the Grief Recovery Handbook, by John James & Russell Friedman, as our guide. This book is included in the price of your enrollment. Each week, I introduce a component of the process, whether it's about unlearning the misinformation we've learned from society, or looking for the losses in our past, or finding what is unresolved and making emotionally accurate statements to a nonjudgmental, caring listener. In the groups, we often pair up with a buddy to share more personally revealing information about our past, and we adhere each week to a set of commitments to each other, in order to provide confidentiality and emotional safety for all members. Because each session builds on the previous material, this is not a drop-in group, and your weekly attendance is an integral and required part of your healing process. The cost of the course is $595, which can be split into two payments of $297.50, to be paid in full by the 4th session.
Format Options for the Grief Recovery Method
Support Group - meets weekly for 2 hours on Monday nights in North Oakland. Up to 8 people, co-ed, all losses welcome.
One-on-One In Person - meet in person weekly for 50-60 minutes in my private practice in Southwest Berkeley. Openings on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays & Saturdays. Intake appointments available on Mondays. Your Kaiser or Blue Shield insurance *may* cover these meetings.
One-on-One ONLINE program - meet via videoconference for 50-70 min at a regularly scheduled weekly appointment. You can purchase a Grief Recovery Handbook on your own, or I can drop-ship one to you before we start sessions. Our first meeting will be an intake conversation, a review of the participation agreement, and the time to make payment arrangements.
Interested in participating in one of my 8-week support groups, or a 1-on-1 process with me?
Contact me today by phone or e-mail, or go to the "Make a Payment" page of this website to register for the next seminar. It's never to early to start healing.